Posted on

Depression. How to stop the battle of your mind.

Depression is by far one of the most interesting facets of our behaviour. Interestingly, after hearing that I once was depressed I was curious to understand more. I am very inquisitive by nature. I always over analysed things and tried to understand them to a detail that people who do depression are all too familiar with.

The challenged I faced and something I see daily, is how we become experts in understanding our problems so much that we actually create confusion. Overthinking problems usually results in fragmentation and too many pieces most of which are out of our control.

With that lack of control, we feel less empowered, less confident and inevitably even less happy. Then the spiral of depression begins.

Within the feelings and thoughts, however, comes something that will change the way you think about depression and something that has changed countless lives including my own.

It is what I refer to as the battle of the two minds. The two parts of us that argue in a tug of war that seems endless only to be temporary won by bouts of pure joy and smooth sailing or by the other opposing side that takes us to the depths of the Black Sea. Something I was all too familiar with.

People who are suffering resonate with this idea quickly. They are aware of the two parts of their thinking, the two opposing sides of their behaviour. They can have them as thoughts, voices or even visualise them as good and bad either way this is more common than you might think.

What you have probably not understood is that these two universally applicable and undeniable forces want exactly the same thing. That’s right they both want you to be o.k. That is a BIG DEAL.

To explain how we can come to truly understand depression and finally get life into balance, I need to explain in more detail how these two sides work.

1) The negative/bad/depressed/anxious side to our thinking.

There are so many ways to describe this side and most people do describe it well. This part of us is determined to help us by creating safety, comfort and peace by avoiding anything that may be a risk, stressful or even tiring.
Now before you go off into a WTF moment, let me explain.

When we explore any behaviour clinically it is important to consider the positive intention of the behaviour, not the outcome. Basically, when you create a feeling or a thought even a negative one, ask yourself what is the most positive intention of such a thought. That’s because we choose behaviours for there purpose not what they actually give us.

For example, I was working with a paranoid schizophrenic who had auditory hallucinations of a voice that told him he should end his own life. Now as we explored the intention of such horrible thoughts he found it difficult to recognise any positive intention. We questioned deeper only to establish that the voice was trying to help him by stopping the suffering. Stopping his agony and releasing him of his torture. A positive intention. A way to help. That is an extreme way to help, sure, but at that level of pain, the mind will go to exceptional lengths to provide safety, even in his case by ending his own life.

NO ONE, that is no one deliberately sets out to self-harm. The intentions are always positively intended although the outcomes are not always resourceful. Sometimes the negative part tries way too hard and stops us from achieving and actioning whilst, actually trying to help by creating safety and avoiding the feelings of failure.

2) The good / whole / free / happy side.

Often described as righteous and ideal, this side of us sometimes doesn’t do enough. This part that wants us to do more to succeed and to be free. It is that part of us that keeps us in the fight. It may be frequently speaking up to get the courage to do more and be better.

Often it will blame the negative side for its own lack of action, however, when left unchecked can be reckless and haphazard causing more trouble than your willing to risk.

This part also knows what to do. It is aware of the debilitating actions of the negative side and wants the best for you. It wants you to ditch the sadness and move on, however, you can’t. Why? Because the negative side is not willing to go away, it is keeping you alive.

Interestingly bi-polar is the complete summary of the two minds or parts and their manifestation in behaviour. One side crippling with despair the other with ecstatic opportunity.

The solution

What if the two forces were to become one? I mean what would happen if both sides come together in agreement and no longer debate in your mind. What if your choices and actions were based on both sides agreeing and working together. Imagine the freedom and clarity. Imagine what it would feel like to have the perfect balance of safety with risk.

Why would they agree?  Simply because they want the same thing. They really want you to be ok. Yet their separation means they are unable to achieve what they want for you.

You, as I certainly didn’t, do not feel ok or at peace with your choices.

Integration and union are very possible using the techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP and Hypnosis.  Integrating both sides into one formidable force that serves you and gets you what you want. Without compromise. Imagine that!

On a side note, this simple approach has profound effects on managing depression, anxiety, OCD and drug addictions.

Find the balance your unconscious seeks with a Hypnosis and NLP session.

You deserve it

 

Posted on

Anxiety and the Boogeyman. What they have in common.

In Australia, it’s estimated that 45 percent of people will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime. In any one year, over 2 million people have anxiety. So why is this so common and what can be done about it?

So many people that I have successfully helped beat Anxiety, do not recall knowing how or why it started. Suddenly they began experiencing a feeling in their chest, hands, heart etc and this lead them down a spiralling path to panic and overall doom. Except it didn’t kill them. It can’t and never will. In fact, anxiety and panic are only that and nothing more. It can’t hurt you. It can only frighten you. Anxiety has never hurt anyone physically. It has and will continue to torment you unless you face the fear head on.

People who are anxious have developed a particular set of skills to deal with, what many consider to be a normal physiological response. That is, an anxious person learns how to react or behave in response to an event, trigger or in some cases absolutely nothing obvious. The triggers most often are a new found awareness in the body. It is your mind becoming aware of something that is alway there, a blood vessel dilating, an artery spasm, a pressure change, a valve releasing etc. The only difference is that you noticed it and now ask a very important and dangerous question.

WHAT WAS THAT?

This internal question begins the process of the Fight or Flight response. A perfectly resourceful way to deal with stress and fear.

The flight or flight response is a series of neuro-chemical/hormonal and physiological responses that create the symptoms of anxiety. However, the symptoms are not a disease (heart attack, lung cancer, or multiple sclerosis as patients often fear) they are the direct result of fear. NOTHING MORE. So your fingers tingling, chest tightening, throat choking, stomach spasms are simply a direct result of the fight or flight mechanism.

This cycle once beginning, loops and inevitably stops because no one has anxiety all the time (i.e. 24 hrs a day, every day). Only to occur again at some random time.

I remember when I was a little boy, sometimes I would lie in bed and for some reason, I would think of someone hiding in the closet. This happened randomly and sometimes would occur over consecutive nights, or cluster just like anxiety can. When it did happen I was so frightened that the more I thought about it the worse I felt and the more afraid I became.

Typically when this happened I could become too scared to even move. I would sit so still and hope that it would go away often sulking myself to sleep. Then one night I decided to do something VERY DIFFERENT. It was very difficult and was extremely scary, except it worked.

I used all the courage I had, got out of bed, turned on the light and looked inside the closet. Only to realise there was nothing there. There was NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. And the fear began to subside. This is the realisation that will help you beat Anxiety.

Below is a simple diagram of how the fight or flight response can cause physical symptoms.

Fighting the fear is an effective and simple first step. So what else can you do? Hypnosis and NLP, when used together, can allow you to remove the associated/attached memories and triggers from your unconscious stopping the anxiety cycle. Allowing you to take control. Stop being afraid of the past and move towards a bright and compelling future.

If you want to beat Anxiety and stop the fear, do something that takes courage, but works. If you’re curious, but scared make the first step. Call me and have a chat. Open that door. NOW.

Posted on

What do you believe in? Life change in a few hours

Have you ever wondered why some people are able to get more from life than others? Curious to know what their secret it?
Well, change is something that can happen in an instant – however, for most people they don’t know how to change.

Most people simply wait and wait for things to change, but waiting doesn’t work. What happens in they then create beliefs around the idea, that then affects the way they experience the rest of their lives carrying a new rule to their experience.

Recently I was dealing with a person who described themselves as having anxiety. Normally when I hear this I listen very carefully to the rules in which they describe the problem. Basically, he was telling me exactly how he decides to be anxious and when he chooses it. Except he had no idea he was choosing it. In fact, he insisted that it just happens and nothing can be done about it because it is automatic.

The thing is we often experience something and don’t truly understand it. In fact, we can’t. As people, we make our own meaning to events based on our own past experiences and understanding.

What was fascinating about this person was his belief about what was possible. He closed himself to the possibility of change and guess how that was for him. Debilitating.

Fortunately, he was desperately seeking change and I took the opportunity to shift his belief about what is possible.

How? By asking him one simple question.
The question was; “how do you know”?
“I mean what makes you decide nothing can help”?
His answer; “Because nothing has before”.

Now, reading this, you can appreciate that he can’t possibly know that. Simply because nothing has worked yet, that cannot mean that nothing ever will. This simple limiting belief was the thing stopping him from being free.
If you were to ask him now how his anxiety is you would hear “I don’t do anxiety anymore”.

I’m curious, what are your limiting beliefs? So many people have used Hypnosis and NLP successfully that your beliefs could be stopping you from a bright and compelling future. The one you truly deserve.